Communicating With Mentees
To provide a richness of experience to this guide, we have collected insights from mentees and experienced mentors related to the communication methods that do and do not work.
Insights from mentees
Watch what you may say to your mentee. If you build a strong relationship with your mentee, it can be easy to talk to them like a friend. Consider the communication boundaries. For instance, if you complain to your mentee about your PI or others in the lab, it can unnecessarily skew their opinion of that person.
Mentees appreciate when you engage with them on a personal level. It builds trust and can improve the professional side of your interaction.
Showing your mentee how to do something, then allowing them to try while you give feedback is a great way to help them build skills in the lab.
Sharing your own experiences when you were learning (particularly when you failed, but also what you did to succeed) can help remove the intimidation factor to the learning curve.
Setting clear expectations helps both you and your mentee define the relationship.
Being the liaison between your mentee and others in the lab, particularly when issues arise, can help them feel supported and safe.
If your mentee misses something with no communication, check first that they are ok and listen to the circumstances with patience and compassion.
Mentees need to make mistakes to grow and learn. The manner in which you respond to their mistakes and how you coach them makes all the difference to them.
Mentees appreciate when you advocate for them and highly value when you do so.
Encourage your mentee to be up front about what they need from you. If they don’t know, make some suggestions you think will be helpful and check back in with them periodically.
Check in with your mentee about future semesters so you both can be on the same page about future plans.
Respond to your mentee. Leaving them in the dark causes ambiguity and uncertainty.
Know that your mentees schedule will change with each semester based on their classes. If you want or need them to plan around something, catch them when they are signing up for classes to see if it’s possible.
If you need to reschedule, ask your mentee what works for them.
If you need to cancel a meeting, let your mentee know as soon as possible.
If you and your mentee regularly need to reschedule your standing meeting time, consider moving the time altogether.
Constantly changing plans requires additional energy from everyone involved.
When your mentee asks for feedback on any of their work, tell them when is realistic to get them a response and stick to that schedule. If something changes, communicate as early as you can.
If your mentee asks something from you that is important for their future (i.e., grad or med school applications), make sure that you do it and do it on time. If you are not able to meet the deadline, do not agree to it.
Honesty goes a long way in building a strong mentor/mentee relationship.
Best practices from experienced mentors
Have your mentee send you their schedule to make it easier to plan.
If your mentee has limited time, but you aren’t always sure if they’ll be needed, have them message you ahead of time to ask if they should come into the lab. This saves their time and yours.
Making a plan with your mentee helps expectations to be met.
If your mentee’s available time blocks don’t match your experiment lengths, help them break things up into time chunks that can work with their schedule. Once they are more experienced, they can do this on their own, but when they are newer, it can be a big challenge for them.
Mentees can be afraid to ask questions or admit what they don’t know. Do your best to create a safe environment so they can ask questions. Until they get comfortable enough, try asking them questions about what they are doing or get them to summarize the protocol.
Asking your mentee about their personal lives shows you care and also allows you to know when their work might be negatively impacted by what’s going on in life, letting you adjust expectations.
Be positive with your mentee. Find ways to spin failures into positive, learning experiences or challenges to overcome.
Avoid gossiping, in general, but specifically to your mentee.
If you can understand what your mentee needs and wants from the research experience, it can help you avoid frustration and disappointment.
Being flexible and understanding the constraints of your mentee will allow you to figure out together how best they can contribute to the lab and project.
It is easier to set clear boundaries and goals from the beginning rather than to have to adjust them later in response to something that happened.
If you are not approachable, your mentee will not approach you.
You cannot and are not expected to be a perfect mentor, or human in general, all the time. But you can tell your mentee when you’re having a bad, off, or frustrating day. This gives them a clue that you won’t be at your best.
